Some Growth Requires Crossing Cultures Although Some Words Cannot Be Translated / 有些成长需要跨文化互补

(双语文章，中文原文在英文版后。转载请先联系作者。)

I have always felt that some words are difficult to translate between English and Chinese.

Take “委屈” (wěiqu), for example. It is not simply sadness or hurt. It is a complex emotional experience of feeling wronged, having something important inside that wants to be expressed, yet feeling unable or unsafe to express it; wanting to resist, yet having learned to endure.

Similarly, “孝顺” (xiàoshùn) is much more than filial piety. It carries deep cultural meanings around family, responsibility, relationships, love, and sacrifice.

In the same way, some core concepts in Western psychology are not easily understood by many Chinese speakers through translation alone.

For example, autonomy does not mean becoming completely independent or not needing others. It means having a sense of personal choice and agency while still being connected with others.

Assertiveness does not mean being aggressive or demanding. It means expressing our needs, feelings, and boundaries honestly while respecting ourselves and others.

Language reflects culture, and culture shapes the way we understand ourselves and relate to others.

Therefore, the challenge is often not simply translating psychological terms, but understanding the cultural values, relationship patterns, and life experiences behind them.

In recent years, Western psychology has increasingly integrated Eastern wisdom. Mindfulness is one of the most well-known examples. Rooted in Buddism traditions, mindfulness has been extensively researched and incorporated into Western mainstream therapies.

By the same token, some Western values are equally worth embracing. For instance, authenticity means living in alignment with our true inner experiences, rather than constantly adapting ourselves to meet external expectations. Congruence, a key concept introduced by psychologist Carl Rogers, refers to the alignment between our inner feelings, awareness, and outward expression - being able to live without constantly wearing a mask.

Through my professional practice and my personal life experience as a Chinese, I have increasingly felt that a path toward becoming more whole may begin with three steps:

1. Be honest with your feelings: This is where awareness begins and often where change begins.

2. Find your authentic self: Slowly learning to distinguish between your own voice and the expectations of others; between your true needs and the survival strategies you developed along the way.

3. Express yourself congruently: Allowing your feelings, thoughts, words, and actions to gradually come into alignment, so that you can honour yourself while remaining connected with others authentically.

None of these steps is easy.

They require ongoing practice, self-reflection, and sometimes the courage to seek support through psychotherapy, where we can rediscover ourselves within a safe and healing relationship.

But they are possible.

As we become more able to truly feel, truly know, and truly express ourselves, we may discover that freedom is not about becoming who others expect us to be. It is about finally feeling safe enough to become who we truly are.

Perhaps one day, we will learn to love our authentic selves, not because we are perfect, but because our lives have finally become whole.

And then, like a flower, we will naturally begin to bloom.

一直觉得，有些词，是很难被翻译的。

比如华人常见的感受“委屈”，它不只是难过，也不只是受伤，而是一种想表达却无法表达、想反抗却不得不忍耐的复杂体验；“孝顺”也远不只是 filial piety，它承载着中国文化中关于家庭、责任、关系和爱的理解。

同样，一些西方心理学中的核心概念，对许多中文母语者来说，也很难仅凭翻译就真正理解。

例如 Autonomy（自主性），并不是鼓励一个人独立到不需要别人，而是能够在关系中保有自己的意愿和选择；Assertiveness（坚定而尊重他人的表达），也不是强势，而是在尊重彼此的前提下，坦诚表达自己的需求与界限。

语言反映文化，文化也塑造心理。

因此，很多心理学概念真正困难的，不是翻译，而是理解它们背后的文化背景和人际关系模式。

近年来，西方心理学不断吸收东方智慧。最具代表性的例子就是正念（Mindfulness）。它源于东方禅修传统，却经过现代心理学研究，被广泛应用于西方主流的各种疗法中。

同样，一些西方价值观也值得我们借鉴和吸纳。比如，Authenticity（真实），意味着活出自己真实的内在体验，而不是迎合外界期待；Congruence（内外一致），则是心理学家 Carl Rogers 提出的重要概念，指的是一个人的内在感受、意识和表达能够彼此一致，不需要戴着面具生活。

通过我的临床心理咨询经验和个人在海内外的生活经验，我也逐渐摸索出一条能够帮助我们走向完整的路径：

1. 诚实面对自己的感受（Be honest with your feelings）：这是觉察，也是改变的开始。

2. 探索真实的自己（Find your authentic self）：慢慢分辨，哪些是自己的声音，哪些是他人的期待；哪些是内心真正的需要，哪些只是长期形成的生存策略。

3. 内外一致地表达自己（Express yourself congruently）：让自己的感受、想法、语言和行为逐渐一致，在关系中既不委屈自己，也不伤害别人。

这三步，没有一步容易。

它们需要不断反思、练习，也可能需要投入时间、精力，甚至通过心理咨询，在一段安全的关系中重新认识自己。

但它们并非遥不可及。

当我们越来越能够真实地感受、真实地认识自己，也真实地表达自己时，我们会发现，真正的自由，并不是活成别人期待的样子，而是终于能够安心地成为自己。

也许有一天，我们会爱上那个真实的自己——不是因为完美，而是因为生命终于开始完整。

那时，一个人会像花一样，自然而然地绽放。